US Civil Defense Warnings.

Argument with the spouse?
Let it go.
File it away.
Then cometh the hour, calmly proceed to your
basement fallout shelter and lock that bitch out.


























Dial L for Switzerland?
No.
Too obvious.
That phone is A SUSPECT DEVICE.
Report the phone to your local authorities IMMEDIATELY.


























What the HELL are you doing with that torch?
GET AWAY FROM THE GIANT SLAB OF CONCRETE ABOUT TO CRUSH YOUR GOD-BLAMED HEAD.

(Note: Playing "Light Sabre In The Dark" is all good and well but
NOT from the rubble at the bottom of the World Trade Center.



















A car aerial this large will alert TERRORISTS
as to your whereabouts WITHIN SECONDS.

Be sensible.

A coat hangar will suffice.






















In the event of biological agents stripping your face of it's features and causing your body to grow to grotesque proportions:

1. Proceed indoors in a calm, orderly fashion (mind your head.)

2. Stay there, out of public view (for GODS' sake.)

3. Await further instructions, ELEPHANT MAN.



















Terrorists THRIVE on vague ambiguities.

WALK AWAY before the seeds of indecision
and paranoia can take deadly purchase.





















In the event of a terrorist attack, quickly throttle yourself.
Ignore the colours and move briskly towards the light.





















This is an " interactive" diagram.

1. Turn on your computer speakers.

2. Press your nose close to the diagram.

3. Smell anything?

BACK UP, BEAKER.

In the TIME you have WASTED reading this, a LETHAL NERVE GAS has infiltrated your computer whilst AGENT ORANGE has incapacitated your family and loved ones in the other room.

Nice going, NOAM.





















Terrorists can assume many forms. Trust no one.

































As the biological agents take effect and you grow to monstrous size, remember to DUCK AND ROLL, concealing your face as your appearance becomes increasingly hideous.



















Keep your head out of the clouds.
Terrorists exploit overconfidence.



















Ignore exits with over-sized red arrows partially jammed in the door.

THESE ARE CLEARLY TERRORIST TRAPS.
















This diagram is a working representation of what a worst
case scenario TERRORIST ATTACK would look like.

Don't be a hero.

As you cower and stave off the inevitable, you may
as well attempt to fellate yourself one last time.






















To thwart the terrorist, one must think like the terrorist.
Memorize elaborate escape routes.
They are an integral part of the terrorist agenda.




















Never leave your sliding doors even slightly open.
Even a tiny gap is enough for THE EYES OF TERROR.
EYES OF FLESH, EYES OF FLAME.
















No, Broadway is not contaminated.

Yes, you could try Broadway.

INFIDEL.



















In a civil emergency-induced food shortage DO NOT
differentiate between certain types of fish and birds.

The Terrorist will not concern himself with such trifling minutiae on JUDGMENT DAY.





















GREEN WIRE? RED WIRE? GREEN? RED? Which one DAMNIT, which ONE????

There are no wires.

In your haste you have MISINTERPRETED THE DIAGRAM.

A Trained Terrorist will pounce on your shortsighted, clumsy oafishness.