Nagoya Man Sought To Answer Charges Over Permit-less Gravedigger.

Local man F.Lotsam is being sought for questioning over his operation of a homemade gravedigging machine. The apparatus is assembled entirely from parts believed to have been stolen from Nagoya's seven Homac branches over the course of the last 10 months.

The machine (pictured below) weighs 400 million tonnes and can dig graves at the rate of 280,000 an hour.
"Fast enough to bury every c**t in this shithole town in ten f***in' minutes. Twice" mumbled Mr Lotsam.


While attempting to cross State Highway 12 (above), Mr Lotsam was overheard shouting down to irate motorists from his tiny cockpit "alright, alright, stop honking, you c***ts, I can't find f****n' 2nd gear".



When ordered down from the vehicle by local law enforcement agencies, Mr Lotsam responded "Come down? Get f**ked. When I'm shitfaced, it takes me 3 f**kin days to find this f**kin cockpit. 3 f**kin days! Walk all over this cu*nt looking for this f**kin little booth, I do. Come down? F**k off, you litt..." whereupon a hail of empty Nikka Black 4.5 litre containers rained down upon the officers.



Similar to the chimes played by an ice cream truck as it makes it's rounds, Mr Lotsam broadcasts a tape over a loudspeaker while driving. The lyrics are as follows:


"Bring out your dead."
"Bring out your dead."
"Bring out your dead."
"YOU C*NTS!"



Civil Defense authorities were aghast to learn that Mr Lotsam's only means of navigating his giant craft was to ask his pet budgerigar, who was seated next to him in the cockpit, which way to go.
"Where to now, me little chipper?" Lotsam was overheard to remark on more than one occasion. "We're off to dig some graves, mate, bury some of these c**nts good and proper."